-By Deb Harrell
"When Prayer Seems unanswered"
In the Spring of 1991, I attended an "Experiencing God" Leadership Training seminar in Drain, Oregon, led by Dr. Henry Blackaby, who was then the Director of Prayer and Spiritual Awakening for the North American Mission Board. In a special session on prayer, Dr. Blackaby challenged us to recall incidents of prayer when we asked for one thing, but God gave us something different instead.
One long-standing prayer came to mind instantly, but any connection between the prayer and being given something different eluded me. I just could not see it.
I realized I was letting some secret sin hinder my seeing the answers, so I asked the Holy Spirit to show me my sin. He showed me that I was disappointed with God and actually holding it against Him that this major and very reasonable prayer still seemed un-answered.
In faith (even though my feelings did not line up yet...), I confessed my disappointment to God...and He opened my eyes and heart to receive a most precious dose of living grace.
THE PRAYER:
The prayer has to do with the disappearance of one of my younger sisters, Bambi Brantley, who vanished without a trace October 22, 1986 and is still missing. Many people have been lifting our family up in prayer faithfully all these years. That is why I want to show you that our prayers have NOT gone unanswered, after all.
Unless you have experienced this kind of limbo, it is impossible to describe the
never-ending struggle between presuming Bambi is dead, and hoping to keep her alive somehow through our "steadfast" faith…grasping at a straw that she may be wandering around somewhere with amnesia.The possibilities and fears about what happened to her are as limitless as our imaginations and each possibility is worse than the last. Beautiful young women, like Bambi, are snatched off the streets every day, never to be heard from again.
It seemed reasonable to ask God to just let us know if she is dead and to give us a body to bury, so that we could grieve, heal, mourn and then try to get on with our lives.
One scripture which gave me great comfort and hope in the beginning was found in Ec. 6:3, which says that if a man does not have a proper burial, it is better that he never lived. Well, since Bambi was saved within the year before she disappeared, I knew it surely could not be said it was better that she never lived.
Study notes and unfinished letters tucked in her Bible bore witness to her salvation and growth in Christ, and gave us all tremendous peace about her salvation. In fact, these letters and study notes were very instrumental in bearing fruit that resulted in the salvation of others even after her disappearance, as you will see shortly.
God's grace was at work in our family, preparing us for this trial, long before it happened. Within the year before Bambi disappeared, I finally submitted to missions. Bambi was led to Christ by another sister, Vicki and her husband, Mike. My older brother and his wife rededicated their lives and their daughter was saved. All the other adults in our family were saved .......or so we thought.
It is here that I must digress a bit.
In October, 1986, I left Memphis for a new Mission Service Corps assignment to Cincinnati, Ohio. On the way out of town, I stopped off to see my sister, Vicki, and new nephew, Michael, one last time.
Vicki and I discussed a mutual concern that our father may not be saved. We believed, however, that the Holy Spirit was doing His convicting work in Dad's life.
Recently retired, Dad began looking up old friends who had also retired, so that he could renew fellowship with them. Some of them invited him to VFW meetings and similar functions. While there was nothing wrong with these activities, we knew that Daddy was really searching for satisfying fellowship, and we knew that Christian fellowship was the only kind that could fill that deep need.
So, before I left for Cincinnati, Vicki and I prayed that God would do "whatever was necessary" to bring Dad "into the fellowship of believers."
Now, please understand... I do not believe that what happened just a week later was God punishing anyone for being out of fellowship. Yes, God does discipline His own, but Dad was not one of God's own, yet. You will see that God had a greater purpose for this trial.
I left that day for Cincinnati and one week later I received a phone call, telling me that my sister, Bambi was missing. My immediate reaction, naturally, was to turn around and head straight down to Leesville, LA, where Bambi lived with my brother, Roddy. I desperately needed to be with my family and join in the search. But my family, especially my father insisted that I stay in Cincinnati because they knew it was God's will for me to be there.
I literally ached to join my family, but instead, a cousin who is a bi-vocational evangelist in Cincinnati was God's comfort to me at that time.
Major car trouble and later a car accident and injury deterred me every time I was tempted to give up and join my family. God literally had to break my car and hinder my body to keep me there as He taught me to submit patiently to His purpose. Frankly, I know now that I probably would not have prayed as hard if I had not been hindered from going down there to be in the middle of all the activity.
I did not get to join my family for almost two months. I tell you all this because it really was not my strength of character or dedication that kept me there. It was at the insistence of my Dad, who always taught us to keep our commitments “even if it cost us time, money or inconvenience.”
I talked to my family by phone several times a day. Dad told me that everyday, hundreds of Christians walked up to him in Leesville, many with Bible in hand, offering to pray for him and our family, or to assist in some way.
Calls came from all across the country, offering prayer.
1,500 soldiers from Fort Polk volunteered to join the search.
The Governor assigned an investigator to work on nothing but Bambi's case for almost 6 months.
Churches down there organized 24 hour-a-day prayer vigils at their altars.
Prayers were lifted up at Pastors' Conferences in Ohio, Louisiana and Tennessee and through the North American Mission Board Intercessory Prayer Line network.
Over and over Dad said to me, "Deb, I just cannot believe there are so many Christians out there, total strangers, reaching out to me. I have never in my life dreamed that such "FELLOWSHIP" existed" (the very thing Vicki and I had prayed for him to experience.)
It amazed him that such a network could spring up, literally overnight. What he did not realize was that God already had His network in place, always ready to spring into action.
Dad read and re-read the study notes in Bambi's Bible. In fact, I am told that he would not let her Bible out of his sight. He held onto it and carried it with him everywhere. It became his treasure. He searched it for comfort, because it represented a link with Bambi. But the more he read, the more it became his link with Heaven.
Dad “went forward” at a revival in 1956 and even got baptized. But during this ordeal, he realized he had not experienced saving grace back then. He saw, in other members of the family, a dependence on a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ, which gave them an ability to endure. He knew once and for all he did not have that relationship and he knew he must have it to survive this ordeal.
So, one night during that first week of Bambi's disappearance, Daddy dropped to his knees in front of his family, tears streaming down his face and committed his heart and life to Jesus Christ. It is important to note that he "committed" his life, in light of what he always taught us about keeping commitments.
The next day, Dad called to tell me that, from now on, not only should we be praying for Bambi's safety and return...but that he was insisting we also pray for and forgive whoever was responsible for her disappearance.
PAY ATTENTION! The day before, this man was promising that if anyone harmed any one of his six children and he ever got his hands on them, he would probably kill them.
Now, this man was saying that if he ever found out who was responsible, he just wanted a chance to put his arms around them, tell them that he forgave them and loved them and that Jesus Christ loved them, too.
The very first thing that the Holy Spirit did in this "new man" was replace bitterness and vengence to love for his unseen enemy. It is important to note that, because no human being can do that on his own.
That is something that only God can do in a person's heart.
After being out of church for almost 20 years, he and my mother found a church home.
He offered to work in Vacation Bible School, memorizied entire chapters of scripture and dressed up in character, to recite the story about the life of Jacob to the children. (He identified with Jacob, who also had a child who was missing and presumed dead for decades.)
Dad also assisted with the widow's ministry, and eventually was asked to serve as an usher. He and Mama served in the nursery. Dad began growing spiritually by leaps and bounds, right before the eyes of his family.
My mother, faithful and gracious lady that she is, patiently waited on him to take up his position as spiritual head of our family, and soon they were active in Sunday School and Body Life Fellowship.
Mama says that one of the proudest days of her life was the first time Dad was asked to lead in prayer in Sunday School class. A small thing for some, but in her heart, she treasured hearing her husband pray out loud in public for the first time…with such humility and brokenness.
When I first joined Mission Service Corps in 1985, my Dad thought it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard of. He was concerned for my safety and security and just could not approve or bless anything as radical as selling everything I owned and going off to a ghetto in Atlanta, working without pay and even paying my own expenses. But as he grew, he became one of my greatest encouragers and participated financially as well, even though he had spent a large portion of his retirement savings searching for Bambi.
He even became involved in missions, himself, leading his Sunday School class to get involved in a project in an inner city church.
He was also very supportive of the involvement of Vicki and her husband as they served on the missions committee at Bellevue Baptist and their ministry as foster parents with LIFE CHOICE.
He became very verbal about the basis of a church having all its own needs met is to be actively involved in supporting missions…(Phil. 4:19.)
Dad's refusal at that time to allow bitterness and un-forgiveness to take him captive kept all of us from being defiled by bitterness and un-forgiveness (Heb. 12:15).
As a result, our entire family was actually released to freely talk about, worship and serve God in our homes and communities. I shudder, now, to think how bitterness and un-forgiveness could have destroyed our family.
But to get back to my disappointment with God…
It seemed a reasonable thing to ask God to give us.a body to bury at least. Scriptures that gave me such comfort and hope in the beginning were giving me less and less over the years, and I began secretly holding this against God, finally neglecting to pray for those who were responsible for Bambi's disappearance.
It became more and more difficult to pray for them when God did not seem to be answering our prayers. But, God finally showed me something I had not seen all those years.
First of all, God's expression of love was there all the time. It was growing more evident every day, in the resurrected life of Jesus Christ being lived out in the lives of my entire family...but especially in my Dad's life.
We were learning a hard lesson that God is sovereign and it was His sovereign choice to reveal to us what had happened to Bambi.....or not.
If it would have given Him more glory to do so, then He would certainly have done so.
God's love for us was settled on the cross. What more could He have done than that to express His love? The circumstances of our lives do not change that truth.
His love for Bambi was settled on the cross, too. She is either wandering around on this earth still just as saved as before she vanished from our sight (but never from God's sight)… OR she is safely in His presence, face to face with the one who has reunited all of us...for all of eternity.
In light of eternity, what are a few years of separation on this earth?
In a most tender, compassionate and precious way, God dealt with my disappointment.
To my heart, He said, "You asked me to re-unite Bambi with all of you. First I had to UNITE all of you. Bambi was not the one missing! Now you are all united with her, but more importantly...you are all united WITH ME!"
"You asked me to restore the one missing from your family. I did that by restoring your Dad, and giving him back to all of you as the spiritual head of your family, and in doing so sealed him for all of eternity with all of you...through ME."
"You asked for relief from the agonizing curiosity of what happened to Bambi's physical body. Instead, I gave you relief and peace that her spirit is safe...with ME."
"You asked me to allow you to mourn your loss and let you get on with your lives. Instead, I gave you long-suffering so that you could identify with MY LIFE."
"You asked me to spare your pain. Instead, I gave you my COMFORT with which to comfort others." (Several years after Bambi disappeared, two other young women disappeared from the same place under similar circumstances. My other two sisters, Vicki and Randi, traveled back there to comfort and encourage those families and also went to comfort them when one of the girl's body was found.)
We began to see God's wisdom and grace in sparing us the gruesome knowledge of what may have happened to Bambi's body.after seeing what that family had to go through identifying the remains of their daughter's body and still enduring a long delay before being allowed to bury what remained because her body had to be held for the investigation.
Within a few months after Bambi disappeared, my oldest nephew prayed to receive Christ. Now he is sealed with the rest of us…as was his son, recently. The nephew who was a baby when Bambi disappeared committed his life to Christ and is now grown and pursuing a career in Christian Music. My two grandchildren are saved, as well and we all pray for those lost loved ones who are still outside the fold. But we believe God is working in their lives to draw them to Himself.
What have I learned from this trial?
I have learned that prayers are NEVER un-answered. Sometimes, the answer is YES. Sometimes, the answer is NO…sometimes the answer is WAIT. And sometimes, even if we don't always recognize it...sometimes, God gives us something far greater than our limited hearts think to ask for.
He is still at work in Bambi’s disappearance. He has not forgotten her…or us…or the one(s) who are responsible.
But His purpose is far greater than just bringing about legal or moral justice on this earth. Don't misunderstand, He will do that. BE VERY SURE OF THAT...but not just to satisfy our very human, but selfish need for vengence. God is aware of our feelings.
But His purpose is REDEMPTION...our own redemption and the redemption of everyone involved.
Vengence...righteous vengence...is God's responsibility and promise. He will bring it about in His own timing and for a purpose far greater than just to relieve our curiosity, pain or grief.
The precious thing is that His grace is totally sufficient to bear the curiosity, pain and grief.
Frankly... NO!
But now, if we can praise God in the midst of this limbo anyway, and thank Him for what He is giving us instead…then an ever-increasing measure of His grace, comfort and presence…more of HIMSELF…fills that painful empty place in our hearts.
God has given me a fresh burden to begin praying again for those responsible for Bambi's disappearance...AND to ask you to as well.
I cannot help wondering if He is giving us this burden again because He is currently at work in those lives and needs faithful vessels to pray.. unhindered by disappointment or anger at God.
I had a thought one day that startled me when I grasped the scope of it.
What if God has allowed my family to go through this trial for no other reason than just to be the instruments through which prayer is focused on an individual who has no one else in the world to pray for them?
What if, one day God said, "I want to reach this person, but no one has EVER asked me for mercy for him."
And then, what if He allowed the circumstances that would connect this family to this person, using Bambi as the connection...NOT as a sacrifice or to punish anyone... but just because it IS His sovereign right to use anyone who belongs to Him, any time He chooses, any way He chooses?
Could God really take the evil that was done to Bambi and subsequently to her family and do good TO us…and THROUGH us?
Well, according to the example of Joseph and Jacob, He could.
According to Rom. 8:28, He could... since we are "called according to His purpose."
What if the purpose of this trial is just simply to secure magnanimous prayer for one individual who is lost and bound for Hell?
What if enduring Bambi’s disappearance and praying for the person responsible was just simply one of the "good works which God saved us for and prepared beforehand for us to walk in" (Eph. 2:8-10)?
You realize I am just speculating, of course. To assume any more… OR LESS… would be to second-guess God.
But…would it all be worth it? Even if we never discover their identity or fate or see legal justice this side of Heaven...would it all be worth it?
What if you had to continue watching the heartbreak and longing in my mother’s eyes...would it all be worth it? Would you or could you actually join in intentional prayer for this person?
I admit my feelings don’t always line up with that conviction…but I know without a doubt that it…WILL be worth it. I don't always FEEL it...but I KNOW it WILL be worth it.
Bambi would say that, too...but since she is most likely already in Heaven, her faith is finally perfected. Our faith is still being perfected...through all manner of painful circumstances of life.
I know that it may seem as if this testimony has been a tribute to my father. It has been...but not to the man named Ed Brantley. I am very, very proud of him and for the faithful way he responded to this great trial. I am proud to be his daughter and my desire is to inherit no more from him than a portion of the character God is even still developing in this man...
But the tribute is really to my Heavenly Father... Eloi... "the one who seemed to forsake us at the time of great testing... the one who allowed us to drink of the bitter cup of suffering" in order to "fill up what is lacking of the suffering of Christ” (Col. 1:24, 2Cor. 1:3-13) so that we can be better equipped to minister to the suffering of others.
Do you have something you have prayed for that seems for a long time to have gone without answer? I challenge you to look again and see if God didn't give you something different and far greater than you asked for. Chances are that He did, and you didn't see it either.
Don't be afraid to confess your honest disappointment or anger to God. He can handle it. He really does understand and wants you to experience the freedom and intimacy that confrontation and confession brings.
Then, The Divine Potter will be free to re-shape you from a Shattered Pot into a beautiful new vessel fit for a new purpose and service… to comfort, teach and bear up others with the comfort He gave you.
All rights reserved.
THE SCRIPTURE MODEL FOR OUR "SHATTERED POT" EXPERIENCES IS 2 TIMOTHY 3:16-17: 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work
Simply put, that means we can study and apply Scripture to:
- Be instructed
- Be convicted of whatever does not please God
- Correct that of which we were convicted
- Be trained to live righteously
- Be equipped for the work God prepared for us
The goal of each Shattered Pot story is to point readers to God's Holy Word to understand:
- Why God allows us to be shattered and broken
- The process God uses to fashion you from a shattered mess into a new vessel fit for service
- God’s specific purpose for your own particular “shattered pot” experience
- How God is using the new pot He has fashioned
- How we can learn to use scripture to discover the purpose of our trials, learn from our trials and eventually use those trials to teach, comfort and equip others.
- How our relationship with God grows through experiencing the names that reflect the attributes and character of God (i.e. Father, Healer, Provider, Comforter, Teacher, Shepherd, etc.)
- What was the original prayer of Deb and Vicki?
- What circumstance delivered the answer to their prayer, but shattered the comfort and peace of their family?
- What hindered Deb from understanding the purpose of the trial?
- Who was really the "missing person" in the Brantley family?
- What did God give this family that was far greater than what they asked for?
- What are some of the prayer(s) that still "seem" un-answered?
- But how is God really answering those prayers?
- In what ways has this family been re-shaped into new vessels fit for service?
- What was the name of God that described the new relationship the Brantley Family was experiencing with God?
- How does this story apply to your own life?
SUBSCRIBE TO SHATTEREDPOTS.COM FREE NEWSLETTER
_____________________
Paperback • 256 pages • $14.99 US
Hardback • 272 pages • $24.95 US
Large Print Edition • 380 pages • $16.99
Mackenzie Allen Philips’ youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against his better judgment he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change Mack's world forever.
_________________________
