-by Deborah Harrell
FOR HER, I HAVE A HOPE AND PLAN
by
Deborah Harrell
Satan approached God's Throne one day
after watching a little girl at play.
He thought,"I'll steal her innocence to see
if, instead of God, she'll worship me!"
So God said, "TRY!......But she is mine!
And I have no doubt one day she'll shine.
Because...
For her, I have a hope and plan.
For ME, one day, this child will stand!"
At that His Son beside Him kneeled,
and for the little girl appealed
to God for grace thus to endure
a great temptation...Satan's lure.
It was not long before it started.
One she did love and trust discarded
her innocence for his own pleasures,
robbing all her girlhood treasures.
The trap was laid with words so sweet,
"Come here, Precious, I have a treat.
You're the prettiest little girl I know.
Give me a kiss and I will show
how much I love my princess."
His hands were rough and quick to snare
before she had a chance to fear.
She had no thought of disobeying
one she trusted…thinking playing
was all he had in mind.
But when his grasp began intruding,
the little girl began concluding
this caress was not a loving snuggle…
and, frightened, she began to struggle.
When at last the game was done,
she knew it had not been for fun,
when he said, "This will be OUR secret.
From your Mom and your Dad....
We must always, always keep it."
"Oh, it would make them very sad
and they might even get real mad
to know their little girl was bad...
So we won't tell them EVER, will we?"
The little girl with eyes so wide
agreed the ugly thing to hide.
But something in her spirit died...
her precious childhood innocence.
Then Satan went to God again,
and said, "I have another plan....
if I can heap on guilt and blame,
this child will glorify MY name..."
So God said, "TRY!"
"You can heap on guilt and blame,
rob self-esteem and give her shame...
BUT...
You may not steal My hope and plan.
For ME, one day this child will stand!"
So Satan made her spirit swell
with guilt and shame, and...yes, she fell.
Time and time again she fell.
Years went by and farther fell
away from her loving God.
Satan returned again and grinned,
reminded God the times she sinned.
"Now let me steal her child and mate!
Then I'll be sure that I'M her fate!"
“And let me have her health and gold,
For then she'll do all I've foretold."
Silently he laughed with glee
and sneered at Jesus on his knee.
And God said, “TRY!"
“BUT.....
You may not steal My hope and plan.
For ME, one day, this child will stand!"
"HA! She's given up Your plan and hope.
There's one last thing for which I grope.
This one elusive quest I seek
from one so wretched, lost and weak.
Just turn her loose and set her free...
to CURSE Your name and WORSHIP ME!"
At last! The One on bended knee
Leapt to stop her enemy!
He turned to God and earnestly
entreated with this tearful plea.
"She's been sifted, emptied, spent.
Her spirit broken, tried and bent.
Now give her pearls from grains of sand.
Give this little lamb Your hand.'
‘And though, at times, she turned from grace,
do not turn away Your face.
Give her comfort for her pain.
Take her in Your arms again.'
‘She is too weak and has no might.
Her enemy she cannot fight.
Give this little child Your hand.
Lift her up to SEE Your plan...'
‘Let her see that You are healing,
loving, pursuing and revealing
what Satan long has been concealing...
that even in her darkest night,
her life is meant to be…..a light...'
‘Through her more wounded spirits reach.
Through her your healing grace can teach.
And with Your comfort, she can live
to comfort others You will give.'
‘Let her see that all the pain
was not wasted nor in vain...
But for her good and not for harm.
Wrap around this child Your arm.
Give My little lamb Your hand.
Let her FEEL Your love again.
Let her FEEL Hope, not shame
So that, at last, Your child can stand...
and GLORIFY YOUR NAME!"
Deborah Harrell
©11-2-98
ADDENDUM: The poem is open-ended. The ending can only be written by each of us, individually. God will reach down His hand to lift you up. The question is...will you take it...will you stand...and Glorify His Name and trust Him to show you the love, the hope and the plan He has for your sorrow and pain. Will you remain in His hand while He takes your pain, sorrow and confusion and remolds it into something good for you and for others, something that will GLORIFY HIS NAME?
I am a survivor of childhood molestation by a person outside my immediate family and raped as an adult by an employer. The goal of each Shattered Pot story is to point readers to God's Holy Word to understand: STUDY / DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR THIS STORY:
by Deb Harrell
They never got a chance to protect me because I was too
intent on protecting them from knowing how bad I was. So my molester
stole something from them as well...the free expression of love and
affection from their daughter. It must have been very frustrating for
them to be so good to me and wonder why I was so distant to them.
So, there are even unknowing victims of abuse who never get
the chance to heal until the secrets are exposed. My parents were two
more victims. They were robbed of my hugs and kisses and were never
given the chance to assure me that it was not my fault and that I was as
loveable as their other children. And they had to wonder if I really
loved them.
But, by the grace of God, I know I am loved now. And I
believe they know, too, that I loved them all those years, even though I
could not show it through hugs and kisses when I was growing up. We
say the words frequently now and even though hugs and kisses sometimes
feel a little awkward, at least we make the effort.
After the memories began re-surfacing years later as an
adult, I was blessed with incredible Christian counselors who ministered
healing to my emotions and spirit and helped me through a long and
painful process of forgiving the molester, the rapist, myself and even
God for seeming to ignore my need for protection or more importantly,
intervention when these things happened.
I know now there was activity in Heaven on my behalf all
along and on the day I reached up and took His hand to stand up and see
how He could use the evil that was done to me and my family, then one
by one God began to open my eyes to see others who had been through the
same thing.
In fact, only in the last few years have I learned that
other women in my extended family have had similar experiences. That
brings to five the number of women in my extended family that I am aware
of, but the cloak of secrecy and shame prevented any of us from
discussing it amongst ourselves until here in our old age. That breaks
my heart and it only emphasizes the enormity of the problem and the
enormity of the great lie we all bought into in our generation and the
generations before us.
This wound is like the mountain that Jesus said we could remove by speaking words to it....."Jesus
answered and said to them, Truly I say to you, If you have faith, and
doubt not, you shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but
also if you shall say to this mountain, Be you removed, and be you cast
into the sea; it shall be done." Matt. 21:21
We can only begin the healing process when we begin talking
about it... especially with others we trust and even more...with those
who have been through it themselves. We can comfort one another like no
one else possibly can. And we have been given the authority, privilege
and responsibility to tell that mountain of secrecy and shame to go
jump in the ocean! What a relief that could be! Do you agree?
When I first began recognizing and reaching
out to other victims, I did not have a label for what I was doing at
that time...other than empathy...but I had a strong desire to comfort
and point them to the Bible for the same comfort I had experienced. It
just seemed natural. So for a long time, I did not know that this was
"ministry" until someone used the term when they were introducing me as a
speaker to a group of women. The beautiful thing about "ministering"
to abuse victims and survivors over the years, however, is that I always
get back a greater measure of healing myself, as well.
I cannot
stress this enough. Those evil things that we accuse God of allowing
to happen in our lives can either destroy us or strengthen us. They can
either glorify God or give us an excuse to blame God for all the bad
stuff that happens. They can remain ashes or become roses.
For over 20 years, God has allowed me
to minister to abuse victims, including serving as a rape victim
advocate through the Rape and Sexual Abuse Center at Southern Illinois
University, Edwardsville, IL, running a battered women's shelter in
Atlanta, Georgia and leading survivors through a Bible based study,
"Shelter From The Storm." And now through this website. But He has always ministered much more to me than I have to others.
God has connected me with women and children one by one at
church, at work, and even some of the volunteers I recruited and
supervised during 15 years missionary service through Mission Service
Corps were trying to gain God's approval through good works because of
thinking they were bad and had to work hard to prove to God and man they
could at least DO something good. It is a vicious cycle. You can
never do anything good enough to make God (or anyone else) really love
you. You cannot do ENOUGH good works to get into heaven. But the good
news is that when you finally believe that God loved you enough to give
His only son so that you could have everlasting life...and freedom...and
KNOW Love, then you will never be able to do anything bad enough either
to lose that love. It is PERMANENT and you do not have to work for it.
Paula Talley's story is the perfect example. I encourage
you to read it. My intention was to comfort her and give her a platform
to expand her ministry, but her story has forced me to face some of my
own fears and doubts and encouraged me to be more transparent about my
own experiences. And that is what this website and magazine is all
about...allowing God to restore a shattered pot to useful and new
service.
I look forward to hearing more of your shattered pot stories
and how God is now using you as new and beautiful vessels of service in
His name
-deb harrell, editor
www.shatteredpots.com
Simply put, that means we can study and apply Scripture to:
